Are you wondering how to increase intimacy with your spouse? As we wait for the all-clear to get back outside, we can think of nothing better than turning up the intimacy while we are inside. Maybe it’s time to get out of our relational rut to reminisce and dream again with your spouse. We’ve adapted some questions from Kathleen Mates-Youngman’s “Couples Therapy Workbook” and added a few prompts of our own to get you started.

We recommend you make the time intentionally so you can focus on each other without distractions. You might want to select just a few conversation starters for an in-home date night or you may want to break them down over several nights. Your spouse may not remember as much as you do or he/she may remember the details in a different way and that’s OK. This is meant to be enjoyable and not a test. Have fun with it!

Ready to start? Put the kids to bed, turn off the electronics, and set the mood to enjoy each other:

  1. Do you remember the first time we met?
  2. The first thing I noticed about you was……
  3. I knew I had fallen in love when…..
  4. What was that moment like for you?
  5. What was your favorite date or thing to do together then?
  6. What I love about us as a couple now is…..
  7. When do you feel the closest now?
  8. What is your favorite way for me to show you I love you?
  9. What can we do to make our relationship feel new and exciting?
  10. What dreams did we have then?
  11. What dreams do we have now?
  12. How can we make those dreams come true together?
  13. When you are stressed, do you need space or closeness?
  14. How can I give you what you need when you are stressed?
  15. Do/would you like me to tell you I love you every day?
    Mates-Youngman, K. (2104). Couples Therapy Workbook: 30 Guided Conversations To Re-Connect Relationships. Eau Claire, WI:
    PESI Publishing and Media.

Looking for another way to increase intimacy? Try couples counseling with Family Renewal Counseling. Regardless if you are having marriage struggles or just trying to ensure you both stay in sync, couples counseling is a great way to gain the tools to stay connected for a lifetime.